I’m always amazed to see so many people having animated conversations on cell phones during the early morning commute, not because they shouldn’t be driving with their cell phones raised to their ears, but because I can’t fathom why somebody would want to talk to another human being that early in the day.

Growing up, my sister and I weren’t allowed to bother my mother in the morning until she’d had her first cup of coffee, a family trait I started showing signs of inheriting in my early twenties when I’d take a hot mug directly into my bedroom to avoid morning conversation with roommates. I’m thirty-three years old now, I don’t want to speak to a single person at 6:00 am, including my wife who is the absolute center of my universe. I strongly dislike people approaching me while I’m walking the dog at 7:00 am, and wear giant, clunky headphones to dissuade people from attempting to. Hell, I can barely stomach email correspondence and Facebook messages at 8:00 am unless there are several punctured K-Cups resting on the kitchen counter like spent bullet casings, all of them still warm to the touch. The brain needs time to readjust to consciousness, and I’m a firm believer in making that time as serene and as uncomplicated as possible for best results.

Written by Mike