After deciding I’d had enough to drink last night, I opened my fridge and made myself a HUGE Thanksgiving plate to bring into bed with me — turkey, stuffing, gravy, the works. Not just a little gravy, mind you. I was absolutely hammered and thinking to myself “turkey gets dry, so does stuffing. I should drizzle this with a shitload of gravy to compensate for that.” I did, and then I began walking up the stairs to the bedroom.

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